D@rL!nG

sometimes im up
sometimes im down
sometimes im in da middle
life is like see saw tat we used to play when we were small.......

a lot of unhappy things happened recently
but at the same time a lot of happy things happens too......
so i guess the get equal at some point.......
life may not be as easy as 1,2,3
but there's one thing for sure....
u'll get wat u worked for...... eventually........
sometimes time is da key
we might hv to wait for da best time.........
and all this is in god's hand
coz only god know wat's best for us......
so be happy and blessed wif wat we hv
cherish all pple around
love and be loved..... though sometimes love can be hard.....

well, i juz wanna say
" I Love u all"

it's now 2 in the morning n im still awake
wat im i doin?
suddenly felt i lost my dreams, my goals......
im not me now
im juz a robot
working hard following da programme in me......
controlled by others....
lifeless.....
uni is not fun
n studying in utar burdens.....
they say utar stands for " universiti tak ada rehat"
well, i agree wif the statement above.........
i reali felt i hv no time for myself.......
maybe im not good at dealing wif stress
stress does me no good
it never motivate me.....
it only holds me back....
n being da first child,
i understand tat i hv more responsibilities
n im not suppose to let my family down
mum always tell me: ' u're big sis, ur bro n sis they are looking at u as a role model, wat u do will affect them"
this phrase is like a nightmare to me, haunting me everyday....
im tired, reali tired......
i need a life.......
i dun hv a life now......

tis blog is some place tat i can shout out my distress
im feeling so lonely, so miserable
i juz need someone to be around,
someone i can share my thought wif,
someone i can depend on..
is tat too much to ask?

well, life is hard....
i reali hope for a change.....
some good changes would be nice......

starting to get use to the new environment here
happy to know some new frens fr emmanuel efc
will be joining them for sunday service n care group too
my weekend was not spent wisely
it was spent on sleeping n eating........
dun reali hv mood to do my tutorial......
quizzes are coming.....
tis week would be week 4 adi......
10 more weeks n exam will be here.....
everything is rushing like hell...
i dun like tis feeling......
last time i used to think tat uni life would be fun.....
well, tats not true.......
im having no fun at all......
it's juz all study study n study......
i miss form 6 life.....
n i miss home too......
tis degree course is almost driving me crazy......
more pressure than when im working full time.........
but sometimes we need to pay for wat we expect in life......
i hope i'll get over it eventually.....
let it be out of my mind......

new place, new campus, new experience

so fast and 1 yr had past.
start of yr 2 sem 1,
a new year in my degree n a new campus
currently in utar kl campus,
the campus is much bigger than the one in pj,
every building is so far away fr each other,
i hate walking around it,
makes my foot sore,
i still prefer pj campus,
n da canteen food sucks,
abstract algebra is so hard,
so is adv calculus n prob n stat,
i miss my holidays.......
im sleepy, nitez everyone......yawn......
i'll continue tml

love? nah

i will never ever believe a word u said
ur promises are fake
and im done wif you.......
i'll move on n so will you.......

n with a new door open, i'll close da one behind......
fool me once, it's shame on me
but if u fool me twice, it's shame on you......

your love is a lie
i rather be anything but ordinary........

on my own

life is harsh......
this week quite a lot of things happen.....
exam, assignments........everything is coming now......
i dunno how long i could hold on........
but i noe tat i hv to hold on, and god will guide me well.......
i always wished tat tml it'll be a better day....
and to make sure it is, it's my part.......

recently everyday also raining.....
everytime i wanna back also raining......
how i wished i hv a car i dun hv to get wet.....
or even stay at skol alone till da rain goes off.......

today was a sulky day
getting late for skol again....
rushing for my report.....
kena airplane twice by fren....
haiz......
i wish tat it'll be diff after i moved.......
juz found out tat i hv to find my own room....
nvm lo, maybe it's better like tat....
im prone to being alone.....
no one to bother me.....
and i can do watever i want without hurting anyone.......

im so so so tired..........

the "reason"

im not good at expressing myself.....
but neither is he........
actually the reason i stop blogging for some period is because of someone......
he's the one that ask me to start blogging....
someone who use to care me n sayang me like his own little sis........
i stop blogging after he left......
i never knew the reason he left......
maybe because that he tot tat i left......
i never left my bro though.....
it's heartbreaking..... i spend my whole sem break last year looking for a reason.....
and now i tot i knew......i hope i knew.....
it's because of work, work, work.....
such a workaholic n emo person he is....
i wonder if he ever will see tis......finds that im wrong n correct me....
there's so many things that i wanna tell him.... cz i found tat i hv no one else to turn to......

my "sucky" period

well, it's long since i wrote any blog.....
wasn't in the mood for it.....
but recent too many events on same time......
now im reali sick, i lose my voice on monday n i hv a speech on wednesday...
everything was so thrilling........and tiring too.......
i wonder when will all tis madness stop???
having my prob n stat test tis friday n need to submit my data struc n algo assessment 4 tis friday tooo.....
next week gt data struc test n linear test, summore one calculus test.....
urgh, it will never stop......
i'll never post my look online now cz it sucks, reali sucks......
u know wat?
i need a rest